Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes . . .

I hate change.

Not the silver, shiny kind. I like that.

I mean, I hate when people or things that I have come to rely upon change. It's hard for me to cope with. Character flaw, I guess.

So, yeah . . . the older I get, the more I find that I hate change. Strangely enough, though, I sort of constantly crave new things - as long as the new things don't take away any of my OLD things, that is.

For example, I have never lived outside of Georgia (probably because I hate change.) I don't mind traveling; I enjoy seeing new places, but I want to come back to my OLD place.

Another example, you say? Well . . . I embrace new technology (I started thinking of Kip singing his "Technology" song at the end of Napoleon Dynamite, and actually laughed. The dogs are still staring at me.) I love my iPod, and I like being able to carry tons of music with me. Tons of OLD music, that is.

As I pen this, there are lots of changes afoot for me personally and for some of my close friends and family. Some are moving on to new things, and some are just flat moving on. It's hard for me to sit back and see them struggle, even when the change is probably for the better.

All change is hard for me, but it's the changes that lead to loss that are the hardest for me to accept, I think. Even when someone has a good excuse for leaving (like, say, dying), I still feel a little resentful toward them.

Evidently, I don't like being left. Again, yeah . . . character flaw.

You know, I always thought getting older would make you wiser and able to accept what comes more gracefully. Not so, evidently.

Motto for 2008: "Embrace Change"
My inner monologue, in response: "Fuck you, I'm not changing a damn thing"

Yeah, I gotta work on that.

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