Saturday, February 17, 2007

A whole buncha wierd things about me

Oh, Sara.
Sweet, wonderful Sara. You have no idea what you have done, do you?


You have tagged me with the task of listing several wierd things about myself. Oh, if you only KNEW the depth of my wierdness, surely you would have never, ever asked.

BUT! The damage is done, and without further ado, I hereby submit to the world . . .

SEVERAL Wierd Things About Rita!

Editor's note: I think I was supposed to list 6, but Jimbo was kind enough to point out that since I am recycling some from a PREVIOUS tag response, I really should offer up 6 NEW things (thanks ALOT, Jimbo! Just for that, consider yourself tagged, smartass!)

OK, so . . . The rules are, once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with "6 weird/things/habits about me". In the end you need to choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. I can't really look directly at sharp points. Some of the most torturous times I can remember involved walking down the Health and Beauty aisle of the Winn Dixie (yes, THE Winn Dixie), shielding my eyes with both hands from the thousands of pegboard-mounted protruding metal rod pokey things that held all manner of bagged or carded products while my mom bought her Dippity Do hairgel. Luckily, my siblings were sensitive kids . . . instead of ganging up, they took turns pointing and lunging their forks toward my eyes at the dinner table.

2. It's nearly impossible for me to drink a soda directly from a bottle or can. Gotta pour it over ice to make sure there aren't any spiders in there.

3. I can't walk up stairs without counting them. Actually, that's no longer true. I don't walk up stairs. Ever.

4. When laying down, eyes closed, to prepare for sleep, my inner eye reliably displays a neon-green gridded, transparent endless plane, and laying on that plane, a jagged, irregular flat shape. My mind carefully and methodically begins to draw a lasso around the shape, and just as I am about to complete the lasso loop and "solve" the puzzle, the shape morphs and breaks out of the confines of the lasso, and I have to begin again. Over and over. If this disturbs you, just remember: some people count sheep. Don't judge me!

5. I prefer that food on my dinner plate remain segmented. I am quite fond of divided plates and ramikens. Spiders are less likely to hide in ramikens.

6. Every month, I have to open all of the envelopes containing my bills to make sure I didn't seal my children up inside.

(whew) Well, I feel better!

Another Editor's Note: Actually, that last one's not true. I saw it on Oprah, though, one day when I was washing my hands over and over, I heard a guy talk about how HE couldn't seal envelopes without ripping them open to make sure his daughter wasn't inside. That made me feel better.

Yet a Third Editor's Note: OK, all of those were the ones that I listed a year ago. Here is some piping hot fresh wierdness for ya:

7. When showering, if I happen to make bodily contact with the shower curtain, I have to rewash my body, even if I have already turned off the shower to exit. Shut up.

8. Before I put my shoes on, I usually check them first for spiders, unless I am really in a hurry, then I just put them on, but then I just end up thinking about whether or not there is a squashed spider in my shoe.

9. When I cook eggs, I place the empty eggshells back into the egg container in the spot that I initially got the egg from. This means that I always have cracked empty shells in my fridge, and by the time I have used all the eggs, I end up with a whole styrofoam container full of cracked empty eggshells. There is absolutely no reason for this, other than the voices in my head that tell me to do it. At least they don't tell me to save my pee in jars. Yet.
10. Sometimes, when I am watching a show, I actually feel embarassed for the people on television, so much so that I have been known to watch shows while my face is covered with both hands. In a wierd way, I like this feeling. For this reason, ANYTHING with Ricky Gervais (The Office, Extras) is extra-special sweet torture.

I'll add more as I think of them. In the meantime, if you are reading this, TAG! You are It! Leave me a comment to let me know when you post your craziness. We're all friends here.

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