Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Space Madness

When I was a kid, everyone was jazzed about Space.

I remember watching the moon landing. I was 3 years old, and I remember the broadcast as clearly as if I saw it yesterday.

We all went sort of "space crazy". Every kitchen was stocked with Tang ("the breakfast drink of Astronauts!"), Quisp cereal (cause it had a "martian") and Space Food Sticks (I always thought they were just Tootsie Rolls, but the good folks at Pillsbury assured the general public that they were a nutritional food alternative).

I remember receiving a golf ball from my Uncle Bob that had a picture of an astronaut sinking a putt. I treasured that thing, as though it had been on the moon itself.

Hell, even our television shows were laced with space. "Lost in Space" and "Star Trek" epitomized our hopes and dreams of a future in space. I was convinced that we would all be living on the moon by the time I was 20.

There was a time when space launches were cause for celebration, and very nearly caused the entire country to shut down to witness the majesty. Astronauts were national heroes.

Up until yesterday.

Oh, the humanity.

From this, to this:
Seems one of our nation's finest was caught at the Orlando airport in a tan trench coat, glasses and a wig, wielding a steel mallet, armed with a knife, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, and several large plastic garbage bags. Oh, and she also evidently had a loaded air rifle and several "loaded" diapers in her car from her trip from TX (wtf?)

A decorated astronaut, THIS lady was ready to (apparently) apply a mallet to the head of ANOTHER lady astronaut and hack her into tiny, tiny garbagebaggable pieces over THIS guy.

Does anyone else think he looks like Fururama's Zap Brannigan?

When reached for comment, Lieutenant Uhura dismissed the entire scandal with a wave of her phaser and a surly, "Bitch, please. She has set spacewomen back 1000 years."

Cheer yourself up with a little "Space Madness" of your own, courtesy of Ren and Stimpy:

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